Theo Ousalotmoney: OK
guys, time to open the bank.
Oxi (no) … we have no money.
mean, we have no money? We are a bank?
sir, but we are a Cypriot Bank.
means we’re broke.
Theo: No we’re
not as we’re not Greek. We’re Russian.
think we’re Russian?
Theo: Sure. Greek-Russian Cypriots. It’s like the Church. Greek, but in Russia.
Tellerous: I think
you are slightly deluded sir. We is
Theo: European? Since when?
we joined the European Union.
Theo: We joined
the European Union?
sir. Didn’t you notice?
really. I thought we were Russian.
you could be easily mistaken sir. We
have a lot Russian money.
Theo: Exactly. A quarter of our bank vault is in Russian
does not make us Russian sir. We is
Theo: Since when?
we joined the euro sir.
Theo: We use the
euro? I thought we was drachma?
Tellerous: No, we
dropped drachma for euro back in 2008.
Theo: We is euro?
sir. We use the euro.
Theo: So what
does that mean?
means we owe the European Central Bank a ton of cash.
Theo: We do?
Tellerous: We do.
Theo: Like how much?
Tellerous: About €5.8 billion.
Theo: How much is that?
Tellorous: About $7.5 billion.
Theo: No, in roubles man, in roubles.
Tellourous: Oh yes.
Around 230 billion roubles sir.
technically we don’t owe them that much.
Theo: What do you
that’s how much we will owe them, if they bail us out.
Theo: We is being
Tellerous: Yes, sir.
Theo: Why is we
being bailed out?
Theo: But we’s
got lots of Russian money.
sir, but we owe billions because of Greece.
Theo: But we is
not Greek or Turk or Cypriot … we is Russian.
sir, if you say so.
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