Humour

As it is almost Christmas, I felt it necessary to rewrite the classic poem Twas the Night before Christmas. My version is Twas the Night before Cryptmas. Twas the Night before Cryptmas Twas the night before Cryptmas, when all through the net Not a dollar was stirring, not even a cent. The money was hung…

I saw the news that landlines are due to be dead by 2025 in the UK. Shame? Nah, who uses a landline these days? Twenty years ago, we depended on dial-up lines for AOL.  Today, with WiFi and mobile everywhere, we’ve moved on. It made me reflect on other technologies that are defunct and…

Like most people, I’ve watched and enjoyed Squid Game on Netflix (the original language version with subtitles, avoid the dubbed version), but did you get the point? I’ll avoid giving away too much, in case you still haven’t watched it, but what’s the point of Squid Game? Well, it’s the same point as many other movies…

I was imagining if I walked into a big bank job today. You are hired as CEO of Mega-Global-Bank PLC. What’s going on? Well, number one, no-one has any idea where the economy is going. There’s a global pandemic. Everything is up in the air, and we have lots of companies with huge amounts of…

A new series of Shark’s Den is about to launch. You know the one, where investors meet young people who pitch ideas and, if they like them, they invest a bit of money for 80% of the business? I love the way the sharks ask questions like: How much are you making? What’s the price?…

With one of my financial providers I am an uber, super, mega, gold, wipe-my-ass, top tier client. They usually offer me champagne and free peanuts, and will go the extra mile to deal with me. Very nice (as Borat would say it). Thing is, I haven’t needed to call them for a year – their…

I woke up and, as usual, checked the banking app for any updates or changes. There was a payment received.  Quite a major payment. It came from BIG NUTS ASS*. BIG NUTS ASS*? Who is BIG NUTS ASS*? I have no idea. I rang the bank. That took a long time. Due to coronavirus, we…

For years, we’ve talked about banks having a spaghetti systems structure aligned to a line of business product-centric organisation, that focuses upon the internal sales process rather than the customer. It’s true, but it’s due to the longevity of many banks. Some banks are over 500 years old and most countries have banks that are…

I made a joke the other day about visiting PC World, and you really have to watch what you say in there. Swimming with dolphins, using the word f**k, taking Rule Britannia out of the Proms, using the phrase nitty gritty, the list goes on. The tippy-toe issues are highlighted brilliantly by this comedy sketch,…

I’ve seen many people struggling during lockdown when their WiFi goes down. In fact, in the UK, TalkTalk and Sky Broadband have seen some big issues with celebrities complaining and those who are vulnerable not only losing their internet access but also their telephone access during lockdown Christmas. Not good. It made me think about whether…