Gordon Ramsay walks into a bank and says to the teller: "I want to open a f***ing bank account b*tch!"
The teller is shocked and replies, "I beg your pardon sir, what did you say?"
"I said I want to open a f***ing account, and I want to open it right f***ing now f***er."
The teller is aghast.
"Sir", he says (having been on so many customer training courses which have ingrained bank politeness to the nth degree), "I'm sorry, but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank."
"Oh yea, you f***ing motherf***er, and the pope's f***ing catholic", Gordon Ramsay takes no sh*t. "Get me the f***ing manager and get me the f***ing manager now", he screams.
The teller pales and runs to get the bank manager.
They return together and the manager asks, "What seems to be the problem here sir?"
"There's no f***ing problem", Gordon replies. "I've just got twelve million f***ing quid from a great f***ing investment I made, and want to open a f***ing account in this f***ing bank right f***ing now!"
"I see sir," says the manager, "and is this f***er giving you a hard time?"