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My #1 Banking Joke

I often use this one to open or close a presentation.

A boy comes up to his father confused about the daily news always talking about the credit crisis, recession and banking.

“Dad”, he says, “how does banking work?”

His father thinks about explaining the world’s connections, investment markets, deposits and loans, and so on and so forth, but decides to keep it simple as his son is only eight years old.

“Well son”, he says, “think of our home as being like the economy.

“In this economy, I look after the money, so I’m the banker. Banks are there to fuel the economy and support capitalism.

“Mum is the government of this economy. She is there to ensure capitalism works and that the banker behaves.

“Our au pair, Maria, works for us and so she must represent the workers.

“And we are all here to serve you, so you represent the people.”

The boy looks a little confused, but dad perseveres.

“Of course, then there’s your little baby brother.  Being a baby, he must be the future, as children are the future.”

His son still looks mightily confused.

“Think about it”, sez Dad, returning to read his newspaper.

That night, his son wakes up because baby brother is bawling his eyes out.  Yep, the wee bairn has surely gone and pooped himself.

Being a nice brother, he goes to get help and quietly walks into mum’s and dad’s bedroom.

“Mum”, he whispers.  “Dad.”

But neither stirs.

He looks carefully, and then realises that it’s just his mum there anyway, snoring away.

So he decides to get help from Maria.

He goes to her bedroom and hears noises inside.  Looking through the keyhole, he can see his dad there, but assumes that his dad must be teaching Maria some prayers or something, as she keeps saying: “God, God, God”.

Ah well, he doesn’t want to disturb their prayer meeting, so he goes back to bed leaving baby brother crying.

The next morning, he goes down to breakfast and dad is there reading the paper again.

Dad looks up and says, “well son.  Did you figure out how banking works?”

His son scratches his head, and then says:

“I think so Dad.  Seems to me as though the capitalists are screwing the workers, whilst the government ignores the people, and the future is in deep sh*t.”

Luckily there’s a solution in the form of the baby’s nappy (diapers).

This is known as the baby’s bailout package.

The only question is whether the baby needs a small, large, extra large or an absolutely humongous one!

About Chris M Skinner

Chris M Skinner
Chris Skinner is best known as an independent commentator on the financial markets through his blog, TheFinanser.com, as author of the bestselling book Digital Bank, and Chair of the European networking forum the Financial Services Club. He has been voted one of the most influential people in banking by The Financial Brand (as well as one of the best blogs), a FinTech Titan (Next Bank), one of the Fintech Leaders you need to follow (City AM, Deluxe and Jax Finance), as well as one of the Top 40 most influential people in financial technology by the Wall Street Journal’s Financial News. To learn more click here...

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