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Holiday Humour #3: Never mind the b******s

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A little old lady entered the main branch of a large bank with a grocery bag under her arm.

She told the teller
that she wanted to open an account and make a substantial deposit,
in excess of £200,000 and that, because such a large
sum was involved, she would only deal with the manager of the

The teller checked she was good for the cash, which she was, and
escorted her to the manager's office.

She repeated her request to open an account and the manager said he would take care of it personally.

Then his
curiosity got the better of him and he could not help asking how she came by so much cash.

"Betting", was her reply.

"You bet!" he exclaimed.  "On what?"

"Just this and that" she replied.  "For example, I don't mind betting £50,000 that by this time tomorrow, your balls will be square."

After he got over the shock of such an audacious response, he thought about it and said, "sure".

Such a bet seemed too good to  pass.

They shook hands on it and she
promised to return at nine the next morning to check and left.

As the day wore on, the manager found himself regularly checking things were in tact, which they were, until the next morning when the little old lady returned with a very smooth looking young man.

When the bank manager asked who he was,
she replied that he was her lawyer and said that he always came along
when payoffs involving significant sums were involved.

"No problem", said the bank manager, "as you have lost your bet this time, I'm afraid."

She looked a bit sad about that and asked timidly if she might check the evidence before giving him the fifty grand.

The bank manager thought that this was a reasonable request under the
circumstances, so he stood up and dropped his trousers and, sure enough, she proceeded to closely inspect his balls to see if they were round or square.

As she did this, the smooth looking young man stood by the wall, banging his head against it in a persistent fashion.

The bank manager asked: "What's the matter with him?"

She paused her inspection long enough to glance at the lawyer and
replied: "Oh, him. I bet him £250,000 that before 10 a.m. today I would have my bank manager by the balls.""


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Chris Skinner Author Avatar

Chris M Skinner

Chris Skinner is best known as an independent commentator on the financial markets through his blog,, as author of the bestselling book Digital Bank, and Chair of the European networking forum the Financial Services Club. He has been voted one of the most influential people in banking by The Financial Brand (as well as one of the best blogs), a FinTech Titan (Next Bank), one of the Fintech Leaders you need to follow (City AM, Deluxe and Jax Finance), as well as one of the Top 40 most influential people in financial technology by the Wall Street Journal's Financial News. To learn more click here...

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