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No pinstripes, dirty pants and lipstick

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During the credit crisis, we have all tightened our belts a bit and swallowed our pride.  I know myself that I actually get on the Tube now and sit next to members of the general populous, and some banking friends of mine tell me they have even caught a bus!

But if you really want to measure the scale of recession, you need to look at other factors.  For example, the number of bankers being divorced, which rose steeply two years ago.  After all, it's only worth dumping the wealthy chap whilst he's got a bonus worth taking.  Now I know that sounds remarkably sexist, but the City is sexist as born out by research this week from the Equality and Human Rights Commission who find that women earn eighty percent (80%) less than men in finance.

What a shocker!

No wonder women are turning to lipstick and lapdancing during this crisis.

The former is a reflection of the Lipstick Index, which implies that when times are hard ladies buy more lippie to make themselves feel good.  The latter has come up many times, and is a subject picked up on by one blog in particular.

Mind you, if you can't go down that route, avoid the other one which is to pig out on chocolate.  Chocolate is another item that is a certainty to increase sales in recessionary times.  In fact, staying in, renting movies, pigging out on chocolate and wrapping lipstick around your face are all signs of female reactions to the recession (or madness).

Meanwhile, what are the male beasts doing whilst all this takes place?

Wearing dirty underpants and plain suits, apparently.

Savile Row reports that pinstripe suits - the traditional attire of a City gent - have gone by-the-by to be replaced by plain suits or even, can you believe it, wrinkly linen two pieces.  What is the world coming to?

Meanwhile, Mintel has discovered that underpant sales are dropping.  Sales of men's underwear are normally fairly
stable as they rank as a necessity but, during times of severe
financial strain, men will try to stretch the time between buying new
pairs causing underwear sales to dip.

Marshal Cohen, senior analyst with
the consumer research firm NPD Group, says: "It's like trying to drive your
car an extra 10,000 miles."  Sure, but have you seen the skid marks in these cars?

The other BIG recessionary idea is that the guys go out and buy truckloads of beer to drink at home.

So there you have it, the Mr & Mrs Credit Crunch household: whilst Mrs Credit Crunch is dressing up as an exotic dancer with lipstick all over, Mr Credit Crunch is drowning in a beer haze and dirty underpants. 

What a vision!

p.s. most of these ideas are marketing myths that make good headlines apparently

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Chris M Skinner

Chris Skinner is best known as an independent commentator on the financial markets through his blog, TheFinanser.com, as author of the bestselling book Digital Bank, and Chair of the European networking forum the Financial Services Club. He has been voted one of the most influential people in banking by The Financial Brand (as well as one of the best blogs), a FinTech Titan (Next Bank), one of the Fintech Leaders you need to follow (City AM, Deluxe and Jax Finance), as well as one of the Top 40 most influential people in financial technology by the Wall Street Journal's Financial News. To learn more click here...

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