Holiday Humour #9: Entrepreneurialism

A
wealthy businessman gave a very emotional speech about his rise to glory.

“When I first came to this town thirty years ago”, he said, “I had
no car.  I just had the suit on my back.  The soles of my shoes were
worn thin and I carried all of my possessions in a brown paper bag.”

The audience were enthralled and, at the end of the speech, a
young man approached him nervously.

“Sir, I really admire what you achieved”, he said.  ”Tell me, after all of these years, can you remember what you
carried in that brown paper bag?” 

“Of course”, he replied. “£500,000 in cash and about £750,000 in
shares.”

Three men were touring the
White House on the same day.

One was a banker from New York, another a builder from Missouri,
and the third was a handyman from Florida.

At the end of the tour, the guide asked them what they did for a
living.

When the Missouri man said he was a builder, the tour guide said “Hey,
that’s great as we need one of the rear fences redone. Why don’t you take a
look at it and give me a bid.”

The others said they could bid too and so they all went round to
the back fence.

First the handyman from Florida took out his tape measure and
pencil, did some measuring and said: “Well I figure the job will cost about
$900. $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me.”

Next was the Missouri builder. He also took out his tape measure
and pencil, did some quick figuring and said: “Looks like I can do this for
$700. $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me.”

The guide guesses that’s about it, but then the banker says he can
do the job for $2,700.

The guide looks at him incredulously and says:  “But you didn’t
even measure up like the other guys! And how did you come up with such a high
figure?”

“Easy”, says the banker.  “$1,000 for me, $1,000 for you and
we hire the guy from Missouri.”