As it is almost Christmas, I felt it necessary to rewrite the classic poem Twas the Night before Christmas. My version is Twas the Night before Cryptmas.
Twas the Night before Cryptmas
Twas the night before Cryptmas, when all through the net
Not a dollar was stirring, not even a cent.
The money was hung up by the banks who don’t care,
And hopes that the government soon would be there.
The users are nestled all wrapped in finance,
And hopes of the things they want to buy dance.
And the bank manager sits, looking quite smug,
Knowing the customers' money he can tug.
When out on the markets there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter.
Away to the laptop I flew like a flash,
Booted up windows to see where was my cash.
The crash of the crypto on the now-fallen index
Gave the misery of money to my presentation decks.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature dog, and its brethren with cheer.
With a little old dogecoin, so lively and cute,
I knew in a moment it must be Shiba Inu.
Sweeter than cats, the dog coins they came,
And Elon whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!
"Now, bitcoin! now, Eth! now, Ripple and Neo!
On, Shiba! On, Doge! on, Cardano and Stellar!
To the top of the marcap! to the top of the world!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away unfurled!"
As dry oldies from banks who try to stop us to fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
And when governments with laws try to clip our wings
Our sleigh full of cash will sort out those things.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the news
The progress and thoughts of the young with their views.
As I drew in my newsfeed, and was turning around,
Down the messaging service, a word came with a bound.
The world liked crypto, it is the new fashion,
I could no longer sit and watch on my cushion.
A bundle of coins were flung on the system,
If you just sit and watch, you might have just missed them.
Their value - how they twinkled! Their returns so merry!
Their growth is like roses, and their profit a cherry!
Their investors are drawn like a crowd,
And that is the reason why the system has bowed.
But their promise is like smoke rising in the air
And the smoke may look good, but it is not fair.
It is a mirage, a mist, a thing with no soul,
It’s like fossil fuels, and is created by coal.
So these coins may seem chubby and plump,
But I laughed when I saw them, as it seems like a pump!
A wink of their eye and a twist of their head,
Soon gave me to know I had something to dread.
The coins did nothing and few ever did work,
They filled someone’s stockings, then turned with a jerk.
And laying their finger aside of their nose,
They gave a big nod, and up the network they rose!
They disappeared in a flash and gave a finger to all,
We screamed and we gasped: why did markets fall?
But I heard them exclaim, as they drove out of sight,
"Happy Crypto to all, and to all a good-night!"
Chris M Skinner
Chris Skinner is best known as an independent commentator on the financial markets through his blog, TheFinanser.com, as author of the bestselling book Digital Bank, and Chair of the European networking forum the Financial Services Club. He has been voted one of the most influential people in banking by The Financial Brand (as well as one of the best blogs), a FinTech Titan (Next Bank), one of the Fintech Leaders you need to follow (City AM, Deluxe and Jax Finance), as well as one of the Top 40 most influential people in financial technology by the Wall Street Journal's Financial News. To learn more click here...