My energy bills have shot up, like most peoples, so I rang the energy firm. I was greeted by you are 193rd in the queue. This didn’t sound good. After two and a half hours the phone was picked up. My bill doesn’t seem right, have you taken a reading? I asked. No, but the system just works this way. We made an estimate, and they hung up.
I ordered some goods to be delivered from the UK to Poland. The goods arrived in Polish customs who demanded a form very appropriately called SAD. After filling in the form and sending all supporting documentation the Post Office sent an email asking for more. I called them and said I don’t have any more information to give. They said, no problems, we will send these items back to sender.
I went to the bank to see if a payment had come through. Walking into the branch, I spoke to a relationship manager about this international payment. He clicked the keyboard and squinted at the screen. Is the payment there? I asked. Computer says no, he replied.
I bought some train tickets on an app. Arriving at the station, the tickets were printed by an assistant at the train station. When I saw them printed, they seemed to be wrong. I said to the assistant: these tickets look wrong? She replied: don’t ask me, I just print them.
I arrived at the destination, and inspectors were waiting to inspect tickets. I explained my tickets were wrong, but they would not accept it. They demanded an additional payment. I paid but then they said, and what’s your name, age and address. I replied that such information was private. At that point, the two transport police waiting at the station got involved. Name and address or come with us to the station. I reluctantly gave them the information.
I went to the airport and checked in. The border guard said to me when did you enter this country. I said I live here. She said, but there is not stamp of entry on your passport. I said, that’s not my fault. She stared at me, like you either produce this stamp on your passport or you cannot leave. I stared at her, like what are you going to do about it. We have our orders, she said, and told me to step to one side.
I waited. I waited. I waited.
Eventually, a senior manager came around and looked at my passport. He said: we will allow you to go this time. Make sure there is no next time, and passed me my documentation allowing me to go on my way.
Upon landing, I reached the border and this time the guard was not so sympathetic. Looking at my passport, missing a stamp, they arrested me and put me in a jail cell. I protested, but they said these are our orders. These are our orders? I asked. You just follow orders? The guard replied, we have to or we are jailed.
I appeared before the judge who concluded your papers are wrong. I wondered what this meant. You will be executed tomorrow. WTF? I screamed that I was just travelling and did nothing wrong. The judge replied, you entered the country illegally and we have the right to sentence you. I screamed, what can I do? He replied, nothing. I cried, this is not right!? He said, it is our system; it is how it works; we cannot change it; these are our orders.
I cannot write anymore as my end is nigh …
Chris M Skinner
Chris Skinner is best known as an independent commentator on the financial markets through his blog, TheFinanser.com, as author of the bestselling book Digital Bank, and Chair of the European networking forum the Financial Services Club. He has been voted one of the most influential people in banking by The Financial Brand (as well as one of the best blogs), a FinTech Titan (Next Bank), one of the Fintech Leaders you need to follow (City AM, Deluxe and Jax Finance), as well as one of the Top 40 most influential people in financial technology by the Wall Street Journal's Financial News. To learn more click here...
