Last century processes in the digital age

I’ve just had two requests for notarised ID documents: one from my accountant and another from a bank. So, I went to the notary to get notarised and they said no. It reminds me of an Amy Winehouse song: I tried to get me a notary and they said no, no, no.

The problem arose on arrival.

We gave the receptionist our documents and she shook her head. We cannot notarise these, she said. The documents she claimed could not be notarised were all of our proof of address documents. Utility bills, medical documents, pension statements and such like, all dismissed with a shake of the head.

Why? we asked.

Because the documents are not signed, she replied.

The issue? The documents were prints of digital statements as well as letters received in the post. The issue is that they were both with signatures that were printed and could be copies because they were not wet signatures. They proved our address as per the bank’s request but, because they were digital signatures printed on letters, were refused for notary purposes. And yet, do you know any utility or financial company these days that issues statements signed by a real human’s hand?

It was frustrating but, regardless, we got our ID docs notarised. Passports, driving licences, residency cards and national ID card. That should do the job.

Taking pics of the notarised docs, I send them to the bank and accountant. They come back to me with a demand for proof of address documents, so I send them what I’ve got. They then say that the statement images are not good enough as they are not notarised. I explain that they are not notarised due to the fact that none of the documents have a signature, and so the notary won’t notarise them.

We are then caught in a Catch-22. For those too young, Catch-22 is when you are in a position from which there is no escape, because of mutually conflicting or dependent conditions. And that’s where we are.

I ask the bank what to do, and they say that I need to get a notarised proof of address. Like what, I ask. A utility bill, they say. But the notary won’t notarise it unless it is signed by the utility company, I say. So sign it, they say.

And so I do. With a nice fountain pen I write Donald Fauntleroy Duck on the bottom of my water bill and lo and behold, it worked! The notary notarised it, the bank accepted it and I go re-onboarded with zero issues. Well, zero issues apart from the pain in the arse process I had to go through from the last century that has zero relevance in the digital age.