Humour

Mar 16, 2010

The new Lloyds Bank … or is that Lloyd Banks?

I thought that Lloyds Banking Group had suddenly had a change of heart when I got a note offering me a Beamer, Benz or Bentley. Obviously, the lending lines had opened and car loans is their new focus. Then I realised that this is the title of Lloyd Banks debut single … … hmmm, I…

Mar 1, 2010

If the Banks are United, they will never …

Watching the Carling Cup Final yesterday, I noticed a chap who obviously didn't realise that sitting next to England Manager Fabio Coppello would immediately get him noticed … Yes, it's Mervyn King (on the left), Governor of the Bank of England, sitting watching his favourite team Aston Villa lose 2-1 to Man United. Shame. But…

Feb 25, 2010

Innovations and snails

According to Fast Company, only one of the Top 10 financial websites of the world comes from a traditional bank. That bank is Itaú Unibancoe in Brazil. Well done Itaú Unibancoe … what happened to the rest of you? Oh yes, banks don't innovate. I forgot. Mind you, plenty of innovation from outside banks and…

Jan 26, 2010

Don’t tell mum I work for a bank

Just got the proofs for my new book … … unfortunately I can't use this as it's been used before, but could have been a good one.

Jan 22, 2010

Dilbert’s business case for mobile

Just saw this Dilbert from last month: If you ever needed a business case for mobile banking, this is it.

Jan 21, 2010

Malta, sponsored by HSBC

Just back from Malta for a brief trip, and was particularly taken with the fact that the country appears to be sponsored by HSBC. Not just the airport, a hotel or a football stadium, but the whole country. Where did this impression come from? Well, from the moment of arrival when you are welcomed by…

Jan 13, 2010

The 2009 Darwin Award goes to …

I don't know if you keep up with the Darwin Awards. These are presented to the person(s) who provide the most inventive or silliest way of removing themselves from the human gene pool. And this year's winner is … a bank robber. Or rather two of them. Dinant (Belgium), September 26th 2009. Two bankrobbers die…

Jan 6, 2010

Who am I?

I’m sitting in the house. It’s snowing. Look. This is big news. We don't get snow in Britain anymore. Global warming saw to that. So when it's snowing, it's major news headlines. Non-stop BBC reports saying: "it's snowing". And so it's snowing, and Britain has stopped. Literally. Everything has closed down. We couldn't even get…

Jan 4, 2010

Happy New Year from the Bank

It's Monday, January 4th 2010. It's the first day back at work for most people in England (Scotland's still on holidaze), and so you would imagine after everything has shut down for almost a fortnight that it might be busy. So you're a bank branch manager. It's lunchtime on Monday, January 4th. The first day…

Dec 24, 2009

The twelve banking days of Christmas

Thinking about Christmas now, so here's one of my last blogs to celebrate the festive season in a banking context. Sing along … On the first day of Christmas my banker sent to me, nothing that I could get for free. On the second day of Christmas my banker sent to me, two fingers raised…