Humour

Jun 24, 2016

FU EU #Brexit

Well, like all of you, I wake up this morning to find that the UK has decided to tell Europe to fork off. You probably think I’m going to blog about what it all means and the implications for financial markets (I did that the other day and back in February). Apparently the vote is…

Apr 13, 2016

If you like change, don’t work for a bank

I just had a really interesting, off-the-record, discussion with a banker. Can’t give too much detail therefore, but here’s how the conversation went: “So, what’s it like working for MegaRetailBank?” “Shocking”, he said. “They are completely branch focused. Here’s an illustration. They launched a new retail bank subsidiary in a country in 2008. That country…

Mar 24, 2016

We are the Robots: science fiction becomes science fact

I recently talked about the oncoming internet developments that follow the internet of things, from the internet on demand (3D and 4D printing) to the internet of robots. A colleague came up afterwards, and said I was daft to talk about robots. It’s science fiction he claimed. I disagreed as science fiction is rapidly becoming…

Feb 12, 2016

The Bank Dick

It’s amazing what you stumble across on the internet. I was looking for some bank news the other day, when all of a sudden cropped up this clip from the 1940 film The Bank Dick (Detective) with the famous drinking actor W. C. Fields. I’m posting it partly because the head of the bank is a…

Jan 12, 2016

URGENT: Open this attachment or your account will be suspended

I wake up today with the usual massive dump of emails, two of which looked a bit suspect. The first is from DHL, saying my shipment is cancelled. I don’t use DHL and expect no shipment from them, so delete it. The second is an email from Transport for London with a PDF attachment. It’s…

Nov 27, 2015

Too Big To Change, Seagull Management and The Yes Team

Forget Too Big To Fail (TBTF), the real issue is that the global universal banks built between 1995 and 2015 are Too Big To Change (TBTC). They are changing, but it’s not easy. Think about it. These banks have built themselves up into global powerhouses, operating in over 100 countries and offering everything from retail…

Aug 14, 2015

No-one expects the Spanish Inquisition (unless you call your bank)

I just got a letter from my bank (NatWest). The fraud team wanted to ask me some questions. I wondered why they had sent a letter, which takes a week to arrive, when they urgently needed to talk with me? Anyway, as you can see, they want me to call them about my account…

Jul 15, 2015

How one country gets through six Mount Everests of cash a year!

I’m such a sad banking geek that in my two hours off here in Seoul I ran around to the Bank of Korea’s Money Museum. Yes, I really am that sad but hey, it was near the hotel and the only thing I could do within walking distance apart from shopping. Yes, I really am…

Jul 6, 2015

Something better change

A true story. The year is 1990 I’m travelling and getting the last train home. Arriving at the station, I discover the last train has gone. Darnit. I’m homeless for the night. OK. Let’s find a hotel. I look for the nearest telephone box. Luckily there’s one at the station entrance. In the telephone box,…

Jun 26, 2015

The Top Ten Quotes About Banking Of All Time

One of the social communities I’ve joined was having a discussion about the greatest literati quotations related to banking the other day. It was so good that I thought I would share here, especially as it’s Friday … “Once more into the branch dear friends”, Henry the Fifth Branch Manager, William Shakespeare “We cross our…