Humour

Oct 5, 2011

American Excess rather than Express

So I can’t find my American Express Card. Looked everywhere and it’s lost. Darnit. I Google “AMEX lost corporate card”, and find an American telephone number. Harumph. So I Google “AMEX lost corporate card UK”, and find the UK 01273 telephone number and call it. “Hello and welcome to American Express Card Services”, says some…

Aug 25, 2011

Bribery, corruption and banking

I’m sitting in a restaurant the other day, and hear the following conversation … Banker One: “So what’s this Bribery Act thingamajig?” Banker Two: “New Law. Came into force July 1st.” mnum, yum, mnum. Banker One: “Yea, I know that”, mnum yum. “I meant what does it mean?” Banker Two: glug, glug. “Can’t take a bung…

Aug 23, 2011

Things a banker says, and what they really mean

I know we see these things all the time – what someone says and what they really mean – but I haven’t seen many for bankers, so here’s a few that I’ve encountered over the years, and my interpretation. What they say: “You’re good for this loan?” What they mean: You look like a hobo….

Jul 13, 2011

Honesty? Strewth, I’d rather steal from an Australian …

I got a nudge today from NAB. No, it’s not a disease. It’s NAB, National Australia Bank, who recently pulled the pants down on their competitors by telling them they were all dodgy in a national advertising campaign framed around the theme: “it’s over between us ”. The aim was to set NAB apart from…

Jul 4, 2011

That European Joke

I’m quite pro-European as it goes. Roughly translated, as I’m British, this means that as long as the Eurocrats stay in Europe and out of the UK, that’s fine. It's also because the main benefit is that I enjoy holidays without having to worry about changing currencies. In truth, I'm quite pro-European because I've been…

Jul 4, 2011

That European Joke

May 23, 2011

New Media versus The Law

I’ve written about the end of privacy before, but now the big news in the UK is that privacy is a joke. There is no such thing. For example, we had a court of law here that could implement superinjunctions to stop the media leaking information about people’s private lives. Major stars of media, sport…

Apr 21, 2011

A long break …

It's Easter in the UK and we get a long break now. Friday and Monday are official holidays and then there's some wedding going on over here next Friday, so that's a holiday too. We also get May Day Bank Holiday, and it means that Britain has shut down until 3rd May!!! Now I may…

Apr 1, 2011

Banks form alliance to stop G20

I had an interesting (but competely April Fooled fictional) conversation with the Chief Executive of one of the UK’s largest banks last night. He was telling me about a new bank alliance that has been formed to address their concerns over what the G20 might do about bank bonuses, taxation, lending, governance and general operations….

Feb 22, 2011

The Royal House of Treasury

I’ve received some really bad Nigerian 419 scams over the last few years and a few that made me laugh. Not many have me ROTFL – that’s rolling on the floor laughing for you in the corner with the baboon face and hairy nose. But this one landed in my inbox this morning and it…